Dogwhistle Records
Man, there’s some strange brew in those Kentucky
stills. Smacks! is a two- man gang from Lexington who
play almost comically primitive gutbucket garage slop.
It’s scary, desperate stuff that more often than not
devolves into ugly, abusive noise. So, of course, they
call themselves a ‘glitterbilly’ band. Hell, the guitar
guy even wears make-up! This gloriously weird album is
divided into chapters (and subchapters), much like some
ghey European power metal band would. Except Smacks!
are not ghey, they are terrifying. Some of the songs
(or sub-songs, whatever) seem to be mutated Kiss and
Bad Company covers (I swear I heard Black Diamond in
there somewhere, and “Sex Apple” IS “All Right Now”),
and when the dudes get around to singing, it all starts
to gel, in an early Redd Kross kinda way. Mostly,
though, it’s a mudbath, and I like it. It’s exactly
what would happen if  a couple of retarded guys in a
Harry Crews novel formed a band in between burning down
the barn and fucking a goat in the ass. Glitterbilly
Spud Imperials (Dockery, Brian Manley, Justin Eslinger, and Robert Beatty
--Beatty did the mixing/sequencing in addition to performing) soundtrack
from the
Spud Crazy limited edition book by Nick Tosches and J.T.
Dockery in conjunction with
Institute 193. Sold out.
Here Lieth the Smacks! Protected by the Ejaculation of Serpents
compact disc $10
For a rough mix peek up a skirt of the new
Smacks!recordings, post-Ejaculation, thanks to
Transylvania Colony, check out